Chapter 4
The next week was a blur.
I told my work team I was taking an indefinite leave of absence.
The $20 million deal could wait.
My VP, a good guy named Tom, said he’d handle everything. Told me to take all the time I needed.
I turned off my work email.
I turned off my work phone.
All I cared about was Lily and Mia.
Sarah moved into the guest room.
She took over the cooking, the grocery shopping, the bedtime routines.
She was good with the girls.
Better than I’d ever be, probably.
She knew exactly what to say when Mia woke up screaming from a nightmare about moldy bread.
She knew how to get Lily to talk when she closed up and wouldn’t say a word.
Olivia’s mom called me three times the first day.
Screaming that I was ruining her daughter’s life.
That my girls were lying little brats who’d manipulated the whole situation.
That she’d make sure I lost everything.
I blocked her number.
Then I blocked Olivia’s dad.
Her brother.
Her cousin.
Every single one of them who called to yell at me or beg me to drop the charges.
I didn’t owe any of them a thing.
The girls still had nightmares.
Every night.
Mia would wake up sobbing, screaming that Olivia was going to take her away.
Lily would sneak into my bed at three in the morning, shaking, saying she’d heard Olivia’s voice downstairs.
I moved the girls into my bedroom.
We pushed their twin mattresses against my king bed, making one big giant bed for the three of us.
I slept in the middle.
Every time one of them had a bad dream, I was right there.
I held them.
I sang to them.
I told them over and over again that they were safe.
That I was never going to leave them again.
One night, Lily was lying awake next to me.
I could see her eyes open in the dark.
“Daddy?”
“Yeah, bug?”
“Did you marry Olivia because you missed Mommy?”
My throat closed up.
Their mom, Emily, had died two years before.
Breast cancer.
Fast.
Ugly.
I’d been lost after she died.
Working all the time.
Leaving the girls with nannies.
I’d met Olivia at a charity gala six months later.
She’d been kind.
Sweet.
She’d told me how sorry she was about Emily.
How she’d always wanted to be a mom.
How she’d love my girls like they were her own.
I’d been so desperate to give my daughters a mother again.
So desperate to not be alone.
I’d married her three months later.
Stupid.
So stupid.
“Yeah,” I said, quiet. “I think I did. I was so sad after Mommy died. I thought Olivia would make it better. I thought she’d take care of you. I was wrong. So wrong, baby. I’m so sorry.”
Lily rolled over, put her small hand on my cheek.
“It’s okay, Daddy,” she said. “You saved us. That’s what matters.”
I kissed her palm.
I lay there for a long time after she fell asleep.
Staring at the ceiling.
I’d spent my whole adult life chasing money.
Chasing deals.
Chasing success.
I thought if I made enough money, I could keep my family safe.
I could give them everything they ever wanted.
But money hadn’t kept Emily alive.
And money had almost gotten my girls killed.
I’d had it backwards.
The money didn’t matter.
The deals didn’t matter.
The only thing that mattered was the two little girls sleeping next to me.
May you like
I’d wasted so much time.
I wasn’t going to waste any more.
